When It’s Uncomfortable
Hi My Beautiful Friends,
If I’m being completely honest… this month hasn’t started how I hoped it would.
I’ve felt scattered, unorganized, and unprepared. My mind has been cluttered with to-dos, worries, and questions. From getting school sorted to juggling everyday responsibilities, life feels loud and overwhelming.
And in the midst of all this, I had a moment of quiet revelation: I’m living in a prayer I once desperately cried out for.
Yet here I am… feeling frustrated, restless, and uncomfortable.
It’s strange, isn’t it? When you finally step into answered prayer but it doesn't feel the way you thought it would. It doesn’t feel easy. It doesn’t feel peaceful. It doesn’t look like the “blessing” you imagined.
I don't say this from a place of ungratefulness. I know I’m blessed. God has provided for me in ways I can’t even begin to explain. But emotionally, something feels off.
Lately, I’ve felt like I’m slipping. Old habits are quietly creeping back in, taking longer breaks, losing focus, avoiding what I should be doing. I feel like I’m being pulled in two completely different directions, two completely different lives. And I’m caught in the middle, fighting myself.
I think what makes it harder is the unknown.
Not knowing what’s next.
Not knowing what God is doing.
Not knowing what I should do.
And if I’m being honest with God and myself, here’s my biggest fear:
What if God’s plan doesn’t align with what I want?
There’s a battle happening in my spirit. A tug-of-war between my desires and God’s will. A tension between control and surrender.
I know deep down that He knows what’s best. But I hesitate because surrender requires trust, and letting go of what I think is good in order to receive what He knows is best.
And maybe that’s why this season feels so heavy. Because God is pruning something in me.
“He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.”
John 15:2 (NIV)
This isn’t just a hard season. It’s a holy one. One that’s meant to strip away distractions, break cycles, and call me into deeper intimacy with Him.
But I have to respond.
Not with busyness.
Not with avoidance.
Not with shame.
With silence. Stillness. Surrender.
I’ve realized I can’t keep cluttering my mind trying to fix everything on my own. I need to declutter my heart mentally, emotionally, spiritually and sit at the feet of Jesus.
“Be still, and know that I am God.”
Psalm 46:10
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
Matthew 11:28
So today, I choose stillness.
Today, I choose to trust even when I don’t understand.
Today, I choose to remember that even if it doesn’t feel like a blessing, this is part of His plan.
And He never wastes a season.
Reflection Questions:
Am I resisting God’s will because it doesn’t align with what I want?
What areas of my life need to be pruned so that I can grow?
Where do I need to invite silence and stillness to hear His voice again?